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The Role of Ego in Success and Failure
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About ego
The ego is essentially a person’s concept of their own individuality. It’s meant to allow someone to differentiate themselves from the world around them, which when understood by someone can lead to powerful results, whether they are good or bad.
There are generally 4 types of people, broken down by the strength of their ego.
Weak egos
People with weak egos tend to see their own identity as an individual not terribly important, and are more focused on a collective.
A large number of people who have had psychedelic trips or near-death experiences report weakened egos, so just because we use the word “weak” here doesn’t make it negative, as those experiences are expressed as being deeply profound and feeling connected to the universe.
Leaders with weak egos may be best placed in positions where they are managing people like Human Resources because they are more likely to be empathetic to the needs of others.
You can tell if someone has a weak ego if they place the needs of others before their own, or if they care more about hearing what you have to say than saying something themselves.
You can best work with people who have weak egos by mirroring them, meaning allowing yourself to be more honest and vulnerable when you answer their questions, which encourages them to want to be closer with you.
Healthy egos
People with healthy egos tend to see their own identity as important, but not the most important thing in life, and so they are able to understand themselves, appreciate themselves, but realize they need to work with others to succeed.
These people tend to have grown up around a positive family life with others who encouraged, played, and challenged them to keep them in check.
Leaders with healthy egos may be best focused on positions where they can encourage, nurture, and challenge others to provide feedback and learn from their experiences.
You can tell if someone has a healthy ego if they are confident, playful, talk about themselves some, but also show interest in you and others needs, wants, desires, and goals.
You can best work with people who have healthy egos by being playful with them, challenging them, and asking for their advice to boost their confidence, which builds trust and interest in you from their side.
Strong egos
People with strong egos tend to see their own identity as important, and depending on how strong their ego is, sometimes as more important than others.
These people tend to have grown up around a harder family life where they may have been criticized often and possibly abused. In other instances, people with strong egos may have been raised by very loving families who unfortunately put too much love into them, causing them to have an overinflated sense of importance.
Leaders with strong egos may be best focused on positions related to sales/marketing/growth because they will tie their identity and self-esteem to accomplishing outsized goals at all costs.
You can tell if someone has a strong ego if they are self-absorbed, self-important, highly confident, expect others to listen to them or do what they say.
You can best work with people who have strong egos by giving them the space to shine while doing your best to minimize their ability to negatively affect your own career, which could be difficult.
Out of control egos
People with out of control egos tend to see their own identity as superior to others.
These people tend to have grown up abused, criticized, or even abandoned by one or both parents and struggled to connect with others due to fear of not being loved.
It might surprise you to find that people with "strong" to "out of control" egos tend to be the best entrepreneurs at the highest levels of human society because they have massive goals that most people consider impossible, and that feeling of being told you can’t accomplish something pushes them to prove they can.
Some examples of notable entrepreneurs with this kind of ego are Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, and Elon Musk.
On the other end of the social spectrum, you have psychopaths and murderers, so having an out of control ego can end in tragedy, which is why I’m so glad entrepreneurship exists to harness that energy in a more positive way, even if often times people get hurt on the way to THEIR success.
What kind of ego does Sean have?
If I were to be dishonest, I’d say my ego type is completely healthy, but it’s actually in between strong and healthy.
When I was younger, my parents were super loving and always told me I was special, I was smart, I was handsome, I could do anything I wanted, and so I grew up to believe I was more important than others, which clearly is not acceptable.
As I’ve gotten older and spent more energy on understanding myself, I’ve been working on getting closer to healthy
Now I want you to ask yourself these 4 questions
What kind of ego type am I?
Do I like the role my ego plays in my life?
When was the last time my ego served me?
When was the last time my ego failed me?
How can you keep your ego in check? Watch this!
Glenn Gardone is the President of Red Chocolate (USA), a European chocolatier with $125M+ USD in annual sales. He's literally like Willy Wonka!
Glenn finally realized later in life that his ego was hurting his ability to lead, and went on a philosophical journey to discover how to get past it so he can be the best man and leader he can be.
I’ve similarly experienced issues with an over active ego which has prevented me from building the kinds of relationships with others I wish I could have. (Read below to learn about a specific example and how it hurt me).
I loved this interview because Glenn was incredibly giving and honest about the things he's experienced whether that be negative or positive, so the conversation was very real for both of us.
If you're willing to look inside yourself, you'll love this interview.
In this interview, you will learn:
How ego can help or hurt you
Examples in which ego helped and hurt Glenn
Examples in which ego helped and hurt Sean
How you can try to resolve issues with your ego
Listen to the podcast here:
Sean Weisbrot, Founder/CEO, We Live to Build
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